tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2009-11-21:/What drives mild mannered Clark Kent to do good stuff? What drove me to be a sensualist, an adulterer, a sexual adventurer? Might I also be affected by Kryptonite? Or maybe its Testosterite.MokoFeed2009-11-21T02:50:44+01:00tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2009-11-08:/2009/11/08/here-i-am-again-am-i-in-danger-of-losing-my-mojo-7334043/KandAmoist2009-11-08T22:40:18+01:002009-11-08T22:40:18+01:00 <p>Gosh, where does time go? Its about time I brought everyone up to date with what's been happening. Mind you, I don't know if there's many of my long-standing blog friends who've followed my adventures over the year who are still around, here in blogland. I hope you are all well.</p> <p>Briefly: after a rather long marraige and several affairs, one of which was incredbly adventurous, I decided enough was enough and that I should be true to myself and be single again. </p> <p>After over a year on the market we finally managed to sell the house, having had to drop the price by nearly 20%. I have now moved into a eally nice village where I look forward to putting down roots. </p> <p>My affair with Mrs D briefly revived when I returned from my long walk, but has now finally ended. We made great lovers, but she remained married while I was becoming single - the dynamic of the relationsip had changed. In the last 12 months I met one or two other people via the PlentyofFish dating website, and got too deeply involved with a woman there - she's really lovely but it's far too soon for me to have a proper, serious relationship, whilst she has been on her own for 8 years and is looking for someone permanent in her life. She's 10 year my junior and has very high libido and I am a bit worried that I can't keep up with her in bed ... I can outpace her walking ok! She's been very keen to try all the things that I've previously tried, and was already a bit of an exhibitionist. She was very keen to go to a swinging club ... I'll write separately about that adventure! Things got too deep and somewhat fraught for a while but have settled down a bit now. I hope we can maintain the "right" level of relationship until I am ready to ... whatever.</p> <p>I've had a couple of holiday / weekends with people I met on the Camino de Santiago: Karin from Germany and Miriam in Paris, and both were really enjoyable. Karin and I hope to have regular holidays together, but she's now seeing a new guy and romance is definately in the air, so our friendship might be impacted.</p> <p>Meanwhile in the next couple of weeks I've due to have visits from Eva from Germany and Susi from Italy - both of whom are old friends. Nothing other than chat will happen with Ruth but who knows about Susi?</p> <p>Why is it, I wonder, that my friends are virtually all women? I know the answer to that as well, but I'll leave if for another time!</p> <p>However not all is rosy. This has been a painful time for me, my two younger kids are just about speaking to me now, if they have to, but the eldest hasn't spoken to me since I came back from my long walk and told their mother I wanted to separate.</p> <p>Parting from Mrs D has been hard. She has now decided to divorce her husband, but we both accept that although we (have) love(d) each other, we don't have a future together. I really can't see myself living with her nor she with me. Furthermore I've shown that I can too easily get too deeply involved with other women - going beyond the acceptable adventures with other people that we've had in the past. </p> <p>I have actually started having councelling: I want to make sure that some of the issues that have dictated my sexual behaviour don't cause a problem in a future relationship, but I'm a bit worried that if I "cure" these things I might lose my mojo entirely! <img src="/img/smilies/icon_eek.gif" alt="8|" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>So then, here I am, at the right old age of quite a lot, poised on the threshold of a new life. I hope I don't trip!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2009/11/08/here-i-am-again-am-i-in-danger-of-losing-my-mojo-7334043/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-12-21:/2007/12/21/have_a_naughty_xmas~3474627/KandAmoist2007-12-21T14:40:39+01:002007-12-21T14:40:39+01:00 <p>And if you can't have a naughty one, have a good one. And if you don't feel like being good, and have limited chance to be naughty, have a pleasantly pissed one. And if you are a Moslem and don't do either drink or Christmas, well ... just enjoy the break. Same applies to athiests like me. </p> <p>I shall be stuffing the turkey on Xmas morning - frankly I'd rather be stuffing either Curvee or Mrs D but that isn't going to happen.</p> <p>Have a great time. </p> <p>Many thanks to all blog friends who have lightened my load and enlightened my life. </p> <p>Peace.</p> <p>K </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/12/21/have_a_naughty_xmas~3474627/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-12-03:/2007/12/03/we_give_aid_and_education_and_they_want_~3389410/KandAmoist2007-12-03T18:34:11+01:002007-12-03T18:34:11+01:00 <p>This little rant is about Moslem fundametalists. Whatever the rights and wrongs of the west's ways of protecting its oil interests in the middle east, there is absolutely no call for these ignorant shits to put on trial someobody who is only interested in helping children achieve their potential. </p> <p>Not only did these turds put her on trial they found her guilty. And their president didn't issue a pardon because the court was wrong, merely (it is reported) because of the lobbying efforts of two British Muslim peers. He didn't have the guts to stand up to the ignorant bigots in his own country.</p> <p>Take the fun out of fundamentalist and you are left with mentalists. Says it all. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/12/03/we_give_aid_and_education_and_they_want_~3389410/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-10-31:/2007/10/31/hill~3226648/KandAmoist2007-10-31T21:50:18+01:002007-10-31T21:54:12+01:00 <p>I was raised on the side of a hill.<br> No, not like a sheep, silly<br> I was just a normal kid, feeling different<br> As kids do<br> The hill dominated my life</p> <p>As a small child I would hold my mothers hand<br> Plodding wearily, pulling and whining as we walked home<br> uphill from the village<br> But I’d soon find energy enough to play with my friend<br> Running further uphill away from the houses<br> Up higher, beyond the top of the glen<br> Under a hot sun on dry grass<br> To the hill proper where we’d slither and slide uncontrollably<br> terrified<br> on cardboard or linoleum<br> Or just on the knees of our jeans<br> Which we’d pay for Later<br> Polished glass, polished lino, polished cardboard<br> Polished jeans</p> <p>Bigger now, in winter, we’d sledge down the uncleared road<br> Polishing the snow into reflective hard jet ice<br> Our own Cresta Run until we hit<br> The Grit<br> As far as the lorry had been able to reach<br> Half a mile or more from the top<br> We’d stop quickly, a relief from the terror of the<br> Uncontrollable Descent<br> Holding tightly so that we’d stop at the same time as<br> The sledge did<br> Holes in the toes of our wellies-for-brakes</p> <p>The wintertime dash home from school for dinner<br> It was dinner, not lunch, then<br> Enough time only for the luxury of one’s own toilet<br> Not bathroom or loo, then<br> With a paraffin heater opposite<br> which I’d spit into to hear it hiss<br> No central heating then<br> because my parents were children of Victorian labourers<br> and didn’t need<br> central heating<br> Or couldn’t afford it then<br> They did later and what luxury it was, not sleeping covered by the clothes and coats<br> I would wear in the morning<br> Getting dressed under the bedclothes<br> Thick ice on the inside of the windows where you could see it growing<br> And then the dash back, downhill to school, a baked potato warming my hand</p> <p>Older. Let out alone at night and now coming home<br> I’d round the corner at the bottom of the hill with<br> Trepidation my companion and her consort<br> Fear, hemming me in on either side<br> The light on the corner, then another, then just two more<br> Distant<br> Until the safety of the house</p> <p>Each wooden lamppost bearing just one naked bulb<br> Reflectors simply made of mosaic mirrored glass<br> Casting a too-small pool<br> An Illuminated Illusion of safety<br> Too big to run, to cowardly to walk I emulated<br> Those walking racers, all hips and heels<br> Breathless and sweating even in the dark cold of a Scottish winter<br> I’d arrive in the kitchen and surprise my mother<br> Baking</p> <p>She were a great baker, was our mam<br> Not a very good cook, though</p> <p>Then the bicycle.<br> Was the saved five minutes downhill to school worth the push back up?<br> Probably<br> Until, late for school I fell off at the bottom of the hill<br> Dramatically, noisily, painfully<br> Bringing caring mothers to their doors to put patches over my excavated flesh<br> Scars borne to this day</p> <p>Later.<br> With friends I’d walk home<br> Singing. Our teenage angst tempered by pleasurable bonds of music and<br> Companionship. My mother’s baking waiting for us<br> Home cooking appreciated by the boarder-prisoners<br> An old lady coming to the door to listen as we passed<br> Words of appreciation and pleasure<br> (We had to break the door down when we couldn’t rouse her one Christmas Day<br> She was dead in the hallway; but with the consideration to be fully clothed)</p> <p>Later still I could sail up the road in my car.</p> <p>One day I looked down from the window and saw my mother<br> trudging slowly up the road<br> two shopping bags holding her hands.<br> Plodding</p> <p>I didn’t go to help & remember that picture to this day.<br> Would I remember so clearly if guilt didn’t remind me?</p> <p>For the potatoes, the jeans, your friends who looked after me, who flattered and admired me, for the baking, the trudging, for being you …<br> Thanks mum. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/10/31/hill~3226648/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-09-19:/2007/09/19/ages_of_man~3004190/KandAmoist2007-09-19T08:20:53+02:002007-09-19T08:20:53+02:00 <p>When is a youth a man? it seems to me that according to the news coverage, a 17 year old male, if a victim, is termed a youth, whereas if accused of a crime he becomes a man. Anyone else noticed this?</p> <p>And when does a male infant become a boy and then make the transition to youth?</p> <p>Boy, youth, man are not - in my opinion - definitions that are relevant only to legal matters, but they also carry an emotive element, related - I think - to the way society believes it has a duty of care to the vulnerable; the younger the person, or the way that person is defined, then the greater our duty of care - because they are not capable of taking on that care for themselves.</p> <p>There are many ways in which we are subtly influenced by such word-related perceptions of maturity. There was a considerable debate on another blog about the age of (sexual) consent: my take on that is that individuals mature emotionally and physically at different chronological times - and on that basis some could be "ready" to have an "adult" sexual relationship from any time from say 15 years onwards, but because of those individual variations then society must make all efforts to limit the explotation of "young" people and set the legal bar a bit high for safety's sake. Also, society's differ, what mey be appropriate in the UK in 2007 is not necessarily what is appropriate in other cultures.</p> <p>But let me get back to the original questions - have you noticed how the news media reports age differently, according to the context, and where should we draw the lines between boy, youth and man - and of course the female equivalent - and indeed, should they be the same age divisions for male and female?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/09/19/ages_of_man~3004190/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-09-09:/2007/09/09/party_pooped~2952049/KandAmoist2007-09-09T19:27:05+02:002007-09-09T19:27:05+02:00 <p>Well, it was all a bit of an anti-climax really. Mrs D's party was fine, Sir A and slave didn't turn up, but she had invited her first extra-marital lover and his wife ... so I suppose she'd got the first and last (me) there, as it were. I sat with Mrs K all the time, keeping her company, she's definately NOT a party animal, and sitting with her keeps me in check. </p> <p>One of my other ex female colleagues was there and we always have a great laugh - see the same funny side in most things - and we did this time as well. Her hubby doesn't dance so she and I did, and she is a very, very sexy looking woman - so that gave me a bit of a buzz. And another much younger woman I lust after came and sat with us and we both seem quite content not to move our legs when they touched - I'm sure I read much more into it than was there ... she probably just didn't notice.</p> <p>Mrs D and I kissed on arrival and parting and there was nothing there other than the kiss of friends. There was just one moment where I had a frisson of how things used to be - I walked past her on the way to the toilet and felt just a fleeting wish that she'd notice and would follow for a stolen private moment, but that feeling passed in a second and everthing was back on an even, bland, keel. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/09/09/party_pooped~2952049/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-08-29:/2007/08/29/sex_not_for_amateurs~2890085/KandAmoist2007-08-29T15:43:46+02:002007-08-29T15:43:46+02:00 <p>Sparked by Sidejump's recent blog, and also Sienna's ... </p> <p>For many of us sex / lovemaking is something we learn from another amateur - usually a juvenile; we have little direct experience to judge anything by, and so we probably spend a lot of time wondering if other people do it better - and for most of us that is in the background for the rest of our sexually active lives - although habit and the familiarity of a long-time partner can make it recede. </p> <p>Wouldn't it make sense if you couild learn from another well-experienced lover before the bad habits and uncertainties set in?</p> <p>Shouldn't we therefore encourage generational-gap sex? Rather than looking askance at lovers who have a big age difference, shouldn't we be encouraging a young person to seek coaching from an older one. Of course it would take a few years for the right patterns to evolve - you don't want 35 year old virgins being partnered by 18 year old ones.</p> <p>We pass on other skills from older to younger - why not the most important one of lovemaking?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/08/29/sex_not_for_amateurs~2890085/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-08-15:/2007/08/15/she_s_invited_sir_a_and_his_slave_to_the~2810490/KandAmoist2007-08-15T06:58:21+02:002007-08-15T07:09:07+02:00 <p>Mrs D phoned me yesterday. Me and Mrs K have been invited to her wedding anniversary party, and she wanted to tell me (warn me) that she'd invited Sir A and his slave along to the party as well. The last time I'd seen either of them Mrs D was giving the naked and tied slave (female) a noisy orgasm, while being brought to squirting orgasm by Sir A. I was taking the photos.</p> <p>OK, Mrs D likes parties, she's led a very social life & they are scond nature to her, but I'm more than a little puzzled by this. Mrs D wants to leave behind her adventurous sex life, indeed she has stated that she's perfectly happy with no sex - which is what she has with her husband - and yet she is bringing this couple into her life again. Not just that, but into her family. Her husband has never met these people, so why invite them to the celebration bash?</p> <p>"Well, I really like them" she says. And its true, they are very nice people and she got on very well from the start, with slave especially. But it just seems incongruous and illogical to me for her to do as she is doing. I don't think she is doing it in any way to make me jealous, but I know she has sometimes done stuff the logic of which escapes me - and this is certainly one of them. Any thoughts? Are women more easily able to partition their mind / world then men, so that this seems the simple thing that Mrs D apparently believes it to be? She said some time ago that she was a lot further along the path of our separation than I am. Is this evidence of that? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/08/15/she_s_invited_sir_a_and_his_slave_to_the~2810490/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-08-14:/2007/08/14/destined_to_be_celibate_now_dilemma_advi~2805449/KandAmoist2007-08-14T10:06:48+02:002007-08-14T10:06:48+02:00 <p>After 4 years of incredibly intense and adventurous sex it seems as if I'm destined to be celibate. Almost.</p> <p>As my friends know, Mrs DoItToMeHard and I had an incredible, fantastic sex life exploring all the pent up fantasies that our (lack of) sex lives with our partners had spawned. It also helped that we were both very sensual people. However a combination of time (most affairs peter out within 4 years), the stresses of our work conflicting with our personal lives, her husband's infidelity and threat of leaving her, and - the final straw - my reluctance to break my relationship with Curvee when Mrs D demanded it (a relationship which she had originally encouraged) meant that Mrs D resigned from "both positions" over a year ago. Although she said that she expected we'd have sex from time to time I wasn't so sure. It seems I was right. We have screwed just three or four times this year, and each time she has made a comment that that she can't have sex with me without feeling anger towards Curvee, who she sees as destroying the relationship. Personally, I believe that a lot of this anger is displaced / misplaced and should be / have been directed at her husband. She doesn't love him, doesn't permit or want him to have a sex life, and won't separate from him - lots of emotiponal issues there, I think. It doesn't help that hubby's affair was with Mrs D's ex best friend, and she has not been able - understandably - to come to terms with this betrayal of trust. She sees Curvee as betraying her by continuing the affair with me when she'd asked us both to stop. One's emotional state is seldom a simple thing to fathom!</p> <p>We have virtually no reason to see each other socially and therefore the likelihood of the relationship rebuilding is completely unlikely.</p> <p>However, just before she departed for her summer home she said that she'd like to come to the Big Business Ball with me in November. I can get two free tickets if I wish. She has accompanies me twice in the past and we've used it as a good reason to stay away overnight together and shag. However this time her main reason for wanting to go is to make contacts for her new job - she was quite open about it. But she commented that "I expect I'll feel like sex by then".</p> <p>Meanwhile I've been so busy that I haven't been able to get away to see Curvee for many weeks - although we happily have a meeting arranged for Friday night. (Yippee - I'm going to get laid! - I hope)</p> <p>My dilemma is this. Who should I invite to the ball? Mrs D is known as my assistant and has some good reasons to attend. But to my mind is using me primarily to further her business, and having spurned any interest in sex over many months I feel that she is simply using me to suit herself. And judging from our (few) previous performances this year the sex is going to be a long way from being great. </p> <p>On the other hand if I invite Curvee I will also probably invite comment - she is a very attractive woman & so much younger than me. However we don't need to act "together" during the evening; she could simply be a colleague. Maybe the age difference is such that most people wouldn't think we were anything other than that.</p> <p>So what do you think? How should I proceed? Who should I invite to the ball? Or should I just bring alog the male colleague who is pestering me for a ticket?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/08/14/destined_to_be_celibate_now_dilemma_advi~2805449/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-07-23:/2007/07/23/in_which_i_did_a_good_thing~2689320/KandAmoist2007-07-23T22:25:58+02:002007-07-23T22:25:58+02:00 <p>I'm inspired to write this following a childhood reminiscence from Lonemum. </p> <p>I stood out at my second primary school because of my very different accent, and was teased a lot because of it. Today it would probably be called bullying; its what kids and a lot of adults do: find someone who is different and attack them because of that difference, ideally in the company of your "gang". Their weakness makes you feel stronger, their difference reinforces the bonds of the bully-group and helps them minimise their own inadequacies - fertile ground for insecure children. </p> <p>I guess I was in one of the lower-middle classes in the school, aged about 7 at the time. My misery was slightly lessened because I wasn't the only one who was being bullied. We had a spastic child in the school, he was in the senior class, tall and gangly, dribbling a lot I think and not really able to express himself in a manner that was easily understood. For some people he represented a great target.</p> <p>One break time I was relieved that I wasn't the object of the bullying, this other poor kid was getting it instead - he had his back to the wall and was surrounded by chanting taunting kids, including me (I don't think I was taunting, I hope I wasn't, I was merely in the body of the crowd). And then I had a moment's clarity and fully realised just how wrong this was. And once that thought had dawned with no hesitation I went and stood in front of the terrified kid and shouted back at the crowd, putting my fists up to defend him. They didn't need much to deter them, individuals within a mob know it is wrong, they just need to have their consciences pricked a little bit.</p> <p>I'm still proud of that 7 year old.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/07/23/in_which_i_did_a_good_thing~2689320/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-07-20:/2007/07/20/miracles~2670729/KandAmoist2007-07-20T15:25:16+02:002007-07-20T16:53:10+02:00 <p>Inspired by my new found athiesm, but still interesed to some extent in matters religious, I started thinking; if I was Derren Brown, how might I re-enact a miracle? Take, for instance, the loaves and fishes one.</p> <p>I've no doubt that something remarkable happened with Jesus, a very large crowd of people and a very small quantity of food.</p> <p>Can't you imagine Derren Brown saying (and looking the first few rows of the crowd in the eye) "Now then, you remember what I was saying about how much better it is to give than to receive?" Crowd nod, enthralled now, as they have been for the past few hours by this charismatic, mesmeric talker. "And you remember what I told you about loving your neighbour?" Nod "And all that we said about the sort of thing you need to do in order to get into heaven? OK now. I'm going to hand out some loaves and fishes in a minute. There isn't enough to feed even just a handful of you, so please will you all make sure that those who have the greatest need are fed".</p> <p>You can just imagine the silence that falls, all eyes watching, saliva gathering in dry mouths, stomachs rumbling, as the food is passed back and back through the crowd, untouched. What a wonderful feeling of others-before self would permeate that crowd, the brotherly love that would flow, and those people who had brought some food for themselves would dig it out from their bags and pockets and pass it back too, feelings of embarassment mixed with pride. And finally, at the back of the crowd, the food would be collected, dirty and broken now, but obviously more than when it started out. Imagine the gasps, the cheering as people enjoyed their miraculous solidarity.</p> <p>They would go home and tell everyone who'd listen about what had happened that day. "This young teacher fed us on words, he sustained us with his love and then, when we were crying out for real food we found that not only could his words take our hunger away, but that when he did give food out out it became more than was given, even after everyone had had a chance to eat!</p> <p>That would be a miracle that would make sense to me. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/07/20/miracles~2670729/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-07-13:/2007/07/13/on_religion_or_illegitimate_moi~2628367/KandAmoist2007-07-13T14:27:57+02:002007-07-19T07:54:05+02:00 <p>A friend PM'd me wondering whether my apparent bias against religion, deduced from my previous posting and something I'd written a few weeks ago, was perhaps because my mother had received bad treatment at the hands of the Catholic church (infering thereby, perhaps, that I was a bastard).<img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> Just a bit, perhaps.</p> <p>No, not at all, my mother was a lovely lady, a committed christian and a church goer (CofE), active in the church and community and who, to the best of my knowledge, carried her belief with her until she died a pretty horrible & somewhat protracted death. Se married my father several years before my birth <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> I was brought up a christian, choir member etc. And so deep is the hold that my upbringing has on me that I still feel an emotional tug when certain hymns are heard. And I bear no malice towards a god that allowed one of his most gentle and committed followers - my mum - to die a rather nasty death - how can I feel anger towards a mythical figure? I might as well direct anger towards Odin or Wotan. I feel some frustration, however, with regard to people who brush criticism of their faith aside because it is just that, faith, therefore rational discussion isn't possible. I'm also angry about the awful things that have been done in the name of god, as I wrote to my friend:</p> <p>" .. when did you ever hear of people fighting wars on the basis they thought people should have the right NOT to believe in any religion? and compare that with the number of people who have died "in the name of God". </p> <p>Doctors who are serving the needs of pregnant and scared women are being killed in the USA "in the name of god". Women raped in India are then raped again by a gang of village elders, then expelled from the village "in the name of god". Men blow themselves, and innocents, to smithereens, in gods name.</p> <p>Many people will bend themselves to the needs and dictates of their religion, some people will bend religion to suit their own needs, to serve their own ends."</p> <p>Last night I bought a book by Richard Dawkins "The God Delusion". I've only just started to read it, but I'd certainly recommend it to anyone who dares to have an open mind about religion (which, of course by definition rules out those who have a faith). The book is dedicated, in memoriam, to Douglas Adams and uses a lovely quote from him "Isn't it enough to see that the garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too!".</p> <p>The book makes the point that religious belief seems to have a unique place in man's life ... it is the one thing that shouldn't be questioned, shouldn't be subject to rigourous examination. It quotes the journalist and writer, H.L. Menken "We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart".</p> <p>Without proper, rigourous examination, religious faith is merely theory.</p> <p>The world is beautiful, people are beautiful, especially once they are liberated from the chains of fear and superstition. The evil, and the good, that humankind does is down to people, not gods, or devils ... or fairies.</p> <p>If you really need a god, look within. We all carry godness within us. Make of that what you will! its not for me to say what such godness is, its for you to determine what your own godness is. But its there, just look and recognise it for what it is, its yours to own and utilise, it isn't down to some outside agency.</p> <p>Gosh, wasn't that deep? <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/07/13/on_religion_or_illegitimate_moi~2628367/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-07-11:/2007/07/11/shoot_the_single_parents~2613839/KandAmoist2007-07-11T10:14:10+02:002007-07-19T07:56:29+02:00 <p>Lonemum has an interesting post about the issues faced by lone parents, but more importantly the bias that government and the press has about them. She's saying, essentially, that if you are a lone parent you are either condemned for working and leaving your child home alone or at the mercy of childminders (or perhaps even an au pair), or else you don't "work", you stay at home and focus on your child in which case you are a "scrounger".</p> <p>I agree entirely. Society is still focussed on the convenient constructs of religion; go further back and I believe that we see a "proper" society, where the social group of extended family and hyper extended family (tribe) physically and directly cared for each other - it made complete sense, you look after someone else's offspring when needed, and they'll look after yours, care for the injured and they'll care for you when you are unwell, look after the aged and you'll be looked after in turn. Religion formalised some elements of that process and made it more rigid, the child is the complete responsibility of the two parents, and religion had difficulty in coping with single parent families (let's not dwell for even a second on the treatment meted out, in living memory, by the Roman Catholic church, and most others in fact, to illegitimate children and theor mothers). Historically, government - taking its pattern from the church - has made things worse. </p> <p>Today society is ruled by government, and government works not by individual social care, but by taxes, raising the money and doling it out by a system of bureaucracy, which by its nature has no heart, and nobody who is truly accountable. True social carers are rare, some very genuine selfless people who will do all that they can to help their fellow human, by their own selfless acts. Mostly they don't work for government departments.</p> <p>Over the generations there have been various attempts at communes, last century the kibbutzes are perhaps best known, although the hippy communities of the 60's and 70's very often had the right ideas - but they (or at least the perception of them) were very often muddled by concepts such as "free" love and by drug taking.</p> <p>Is there a cure? We've talked lots about it, with various government ministers saying that "the family" and family values are the secret and must be re-discovered. One has to ask, whose family values are we talking about here? </p> <p>What government minister is going to be brave enough to say that single parent families can work if only we, society, accept full responsibility for all of our members, whatever family structure they exist in. It seems to me that in order to do that we need to put in place really good, free, local childcare; we need to have a decent health service. We have to look at just about every element of "the system" including such things as public transport. We need to have a tax system that allows low paid workers to exist on their earning from one job rather than to have to take on two or three - by which I'm saying, I'm afraid, that we need to tax the well off even harder ...</p> <p>Mrs Thatcher famously said "there is no such thing as society" - and she built the country of her dreams. The labour government was only electable because they were able to say to the country that they were her worthy successors; they haven't made the massive changes that we need. A proper socialist government is probably unelectable today, but maybe Labour under Brown might just have the balls to address the unacceptable and increasingly large gulf that exists between the haves and have-nots. I'd be surprised if they do. The problem will be perpetuated because the enfranchised majority by and large will support the status quo, any move to look after the socially and emotionally impoverished will hit their pockets. Its a vote loser. </p> <p>The ray of sunshine that I see, however, is that these days we are seeing a good deal of charitable contribution being made by the wealthy, Warren Buffet, Bill Gates and various popular figures from entertainment - their lead-by-example is great. </p> <p>I wonder if Tony and Cherie will set up a charitable fund with all the earnings they are likely to make in the coming years? Were they to do so I'd have a lot more respect for them. But their probable adoption of the Roman Catholic faith, and all its rigidity of thought, doesn't seem to indicate that'll happen any time soon.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/07/11/shoot_the_single_parents~2613839/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-07-05:/2007/07/05/displacement_activies~2580784/KandAmoist2007-07-05T20:17:38+02:002007-07-05T20:17:38+02:00 <p>Displacement activities. That's those things that you find to do when you should be doing other stuff, like instead of cutting the grass you really must have another chocolate bar. Or instead of doing the ironing you simply must pluck the fluff out of yer navel.</p> <p>The real reason you are still sitting at your desk at silly o'clock in the evening is 'cos you haven't done that urgent work; it isn't because you really really absolutely have to blog about something. Anything. </p> <p>For you in the preceding paragraph substitute me. </p> <p>If you see what I mean ... really stringing this out now.</p> <p>For a bit longer ....</p> <p>O buggrit .... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/07/05/displacement_activies~2580784/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-07-05:/2007/07/05/call_me_unsympathetic_but~2578053/KandAmoist2007-07-05T13:22:53+02:002007-07-05T20:09:41+02:00 <p>Call me unsympathetic but … I just saw a television news item about the recent flooding in the north of the UK, and one resident said something along the lines “We want the prime minister to come here and see all the damage. What about the people who don’t have insurance, what are they to do Mr Brown?”</p> <p>Well, it seems to me that if they don’t have insurance it isn’t up to the national exchequer to bail them out. Of course there may be some who genuinely can’t afford home insurance, but my guess is that the majority who don’t have it are closely related to those who don’t worry about getting car insurance on the basis that a) disaster is something that happens to other people and b) the money would best be spent down the pub / on fags / on the lottery etc</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/07/05/call_me_unsympathetic_but~2578053/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-07-03:/2007/07/03/to_the_forest~2563056/KandAmoist2007-07-03T06:10:39+02:002007-07-03T08:14:01+02:00 <p>Let me take you to the forest<br> Through nature’s lush cacophony<br> And solitude<br> Along paths well trodden<br> And less</p> <p>See the horizontal trunks<br> Rotting, fuelling<br> The thrusting ones, vigorous<br> Pushing up and through</p> <p>And the tremulous, eager<br> Sapling<br> Not knowing that its future<br> Will be<br> Ashes. For you</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/07/03/to_the_forest~2563056/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-05-27:/2007/05/27/i_tag_u_tag~2344706/KandAmoist2007-05-27T20:36:11+02:002007-05-27T20:42:47+02:00 <p>Oh dear, Phinebooty & Sidejump have tagged to to give 7 random facts about myself. so here goes:</p> <p>1) Quite frequently between ages 8-12 my mother used to dress me in a skirt, I didn't really like it</p> <p>2) Now I'd quite like to wear a skirt from time to time</p> <p>3) In the last 4 years I've made love to women in every decade from 20's to 50's, with the youngest being exactly half my age</p> <p>4)Within the same day I've had sex with a woman in the Orient and a woman in my back garden</p> <p>5)Although I can muff dive very well, I can't dive into water</p> <p>6)I play the tin whistle by ear (most people play by mouth)</p> <p>7) Sometimes I call a kilt a skirt</p> <p>I tag</p> <p>Fatalattraction<br> Nicola<br> Nonny<br> JoJo<br> Sixpence<br> Sienna<br> Goingsomewhere</p> <p>Each person tagged gives 7 random facts about themselves. Those tagged need to write in their blogs 7 facts, as well as the rules of the game. You also tag seven others and list their names on your blog. Let them know you plan on tagging them in your post.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/05/27/i_tag_u_tag~2344706/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-05-24:/2007/05/24/when_god_s_on_your_side~2328935/KandAmoist2007-05-24T21:52:24+02:002007-05-24T21:52:24+02:00 <p>I have a friend, a decent law abiding bloke, who happens ... well who happens three things, really. He happens to be a strong believer in "God", he happens to be married, and he happens to have had a couple of affairs. Those affairs were so passionate and sexually liberating that he cheerfully confesses (to me, not his religious confessor) that he'd be happy to have another affair, or even more than one.</p> <p>I asked him how he managed to equate his infidelity with his belief in "God's law" whereby his marriage, being consecrated by his church meant he was to be faithful to his wife and no other, and wasn't to covet his neighbour's wife's ass. His answer was that his extra-marital rumpy-pumpy was all so wonderful that it simply had to have been ordained by "God". Infidelity was good therefore it was meant to happen. Fortunately his lover was also a god-botherer and they managed to give each other lots of positive feedback on this. </p> <p>I rather feel this is the flip side of "my life isn't so hot but there's not much I can do about it because God wants me to suffer, probabably because I did something really bad to someone once. This suffering is good for my soul"</p> <p>I'm reminded of the lyrics to the Bob Dylan protest song, which end "and you don't ask no questions, when God's on your side". It's useful having a god to blame.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/05/24/when_god_s_on_your_side~2328935/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-04-10:/2007/04/10/and_another_thing_that_annoys_me~2067853/KandAmoist2007-04-10T21:04:04+02:002007-04-11T07:56:03+02:00 <p>Those people who are obviously doing something else when on the phone to you. Then I end up feeling that I'm not as important as their dishwashing or television watching or keyboard tapping. To me it seems rude, discourtious. It isn't helped by a small hearing problem I have. No, not deaf, quite the opposite - I find it hard to separate background and foreground noise, whether in face to face conversation or on the phone. I have a friend whose phone seems to pick up lots of background noise, very loudly, so not only do I find it different to hear what she is saying, I find it very distracting.</p> <p>Picky aren't I? But its a tough day today. Fell out finally with Ysabel, fell out massively with Mrs K, and feel that Curvee isn't particularly interested in me.</p> <p>Oh dear. Aren't I the rejected one. Sometimes sharp blades seem rather attractive. But I know this too will pass.</p> <p>Tomorrow is another day.</p> <p>Happily </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/04/10/and_another_thing_that_annoys_me~2067853/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-04-10:/2007/04/10/standing_in_the_wrong_place~2063945/KandAmoist2007-04-10T11:20:43+02:002007-04-10T11:20:43+02:00 <p>I know what the explanation is (later) but I'll just rant a bit, aboout people who stand in the wrong place, such as:</p> <p>At the entry or exit of escalators (exit is worse, because then the people following on all have to mark time)</p> <p>Doorways - primarily in public places such as shops</p> <p>As a variant on this, we have people who stand in MY office doorway, which leads straight outside, and is next to my desk, therefore providing a draught - typically cold. As a subset, we have those people who, after doing this then exit the doorway, leaving the damn thing open.</p> <p>The explanation is dual - people are immersed in their own thoughts (I wonder where the lingerie department is) and don't consider the impact of their actions upon others.</p> <p>Just one of these things that are sent to try us. I wish that all my problems were as slight.</p> <p>PS There is no lingerie department in my office, unless we consider the shelf in the back office where the Gigolo Bag is stored </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/04/10/standing_in_the_wrong_place~2063945/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-03-16:/2007/03/16/stupid_man~1916641/KandAmoist2007-03-16T17:52:14+01:002007-03-16T17:52:14+01:00 <p>Stupid? Moi? Certainly!</p> <p>I don't know if its testosterone or what, or just plain stupidity, but I just did such an idiotic thing!</p> <p>I was speaking on Skype with a lady friend, both of us with webcams (its ok, we had our clothes ON!). I was idly looking out of the window and noticed a pigeon sitting in the garden. They are widely considered to be vermin (unless you are another pigeon, in which case you tend to think of it, at this time of year, as something to shag. I don't like pigeons, and prfer not to have them in the garden. I use a soft-air pistol to scare them away. This is very much a non-lethal device, firing a small lighweight plastic pellet a distance up to about 15 metres. Fine for scaring pigeons. Or those cats that like to use the garden as theor toilet (as I'm writing this, I can envisage my blog friends deserting me in droves).</p> <p>So, I reach into my draw, pull our my pistol, and cockily cock it. My friend is rather shocked that I'm going to shoot a pigeon. "No", says I, "don't worry, its not real, it can't hurt anything, look" - and I point the gun at the screen and pull the trigger.</p> <p>I now have a nicely haloed pin-prick hole in the middle of my screen.</p> <p>What an idiot. I'd fogotten that an LCD screen as more susceptible to damage than a CRT. But more significant, I was showing off with a gun ... a very male, very stupid thing to do. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/03/16/stupid_man~1916641/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-03-16:/2007/03/16/a_night_away~1915909/KandAmoist2007-03-16T15:39:11+01:002007-04-11T07:57:28+02:00 <p>I must admit to a certain degree of trepidation as I walked to the hotel desk, for the simple reason that when I booked a couple of days earlier I didn't have my credit card with me; I'd promised to call back with details and hadn't done so. Did we still have a room? Curvee waited in the car until I'd found out. Happily we did and I booked in and then went to collect the baggage, and Curvee.</p> <p>During our short drive to the hotel I'd got rid of my grumpiness at her lateness and we were fine again. When we got to our room it was a great relief to put the bags down, and put our arms round each other, lips searching and finding each others eager responsiveness.</p> <p>Strangely, I find it hard to recall the details of that evening and night. Perhaps its the viagra reacting with the bottle of wine we shared, but more, I think, because it became a wave of pleasure, washing through and over me. Everything was really lovely, joyous. We explored each other with eyes and hands and lips, happy sighs - and giggles - punctuating the susuration of skin on skin. Or maybe I'd just become a fuckwit - sexually ga-ga. She's previously been fully shaved for me, but this time she's re-growing; there was no spikiness at all, it had evidently grown long enough not to be a hazard to my well trimmed cock and balls </p> <p>We haven't yet managed to give her a full blown orgasm during our lovemaking, and I really must concentrate more on that, but I know I came once before dinner, once after, and once again in the morning. I told her how much I craved tender touches and I fell asleep with her stroking me, and it seemed that any time I woke up she was stroking me. It felt lovely. </p> <p>I'd opened the window early in the evening; she is normally quite cold and when I heard her go to the window during the night I assumed she was closing it, but no, she wanted more air in the room; she said I was generating a massive amount of heat. I guess I was burning off the wine.</p> <p>After our morning-glory shag - and toy play that brought her a small orgasm - we had breakfast, packed and left, tired, happy and with a small tinge of unhappiness that we don't know when we'll be able to do it again. I dropped her at the station and my only regret was that we hadn't managed to get together a couple of hours earlier, the previous day. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/03/16/a_night_away~1915909/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-03-15:/2007/03/15/finally_curvee~1912167/KandAmoist2007-03-15T21:59:56+01:002007-03-15T22:33:30+01:00 <p>Finally Curvee and I managed to get together ... it's been a long hard drought! </p> <p>I'd arranged to pick her up from a mutually inconvenient station, initially we'd agreed on 3.00pm, then I realised that there was no way I could make it for then and said 3.30, then we agreed on 4.00pm. But as I was driving I got a text saying that she might be a bit late, but since I have my audible notification of the arrivial of a text permanently switched off (since I don't want to risk Mrs K hearing them incoming) I didn't get the message until I'd arrived at the station - at 3.50, so I'd managed to make up some time. 4.00pm came and went, as did 4.15 and 4.30 Eventaully I managed to get through to her and found that not only had she got on the wrong train, when she got on the right one it had been delayed. 4.45 and 5.00pm came and went. She called me "Where are you?" "In the car park", I replied. "I can't see you" she said. Although in the wrong car park, at least now she was in the right station. I really did feel very frustrated about our apparent inability to meet up with each other. Made worse, perhaps, by the fact that the Viagra I'd popped when driving - in the expectation that we'd be in bed an hour ago - was more tnan making itself felt.</p> <p>Eventually I saw delightful slight, slim but curvy form, coming towards me, with her distinctive and soooo attractive walk - it was just great to see her again - but I was so pissed off that I hid mt delight and just drove us off to our hotel.</p> <p>This time it my my turn to take a wrong road, adding another deeply frustrating 20 minutes to our journey. Some people would have said that the fates were conspiring against them and would have given up - but not me, not us. We persevered, crossing flooded roads, driving up steep mountainsides with precipitous precipices all around, avoiding bandits by the skin of our teeth ... actually, I made the last bit up. We easily evaded the bandits</p> <p>Eventually we got to our hotel, checked in and ...</p> <p>You know what, I've been at or near this computer for 14 hours. I've had enough. More later</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/03/15/finally_curvee~1912167/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-02-11:/2007/02/11/sex_at_a_distance~1721591/KandAmoist2007-02-11T17:03:24+01:002007-04-11T07:59:25+02:00 <p>It's about time I did a bit more blogging. I have been around blogland but mostly reading and making the odd comment or two (as you know, I do odd quite well). I've not touched much on sex recently, and since it is one of my favourite activities, I thought I'd get back to it.</p> <p>The pattern of my sex life has changed quite a lot since Mrs DoItToMeHard and I split. From fucking just about every day - in the office - at its peak, and sometimes twice or three times a day, it had tailed off to once a week or so. The reasons for that have been documented well over the last 12 months. And then finally, after knowing that it was going to happen, she left.</p> <p>Although she had stated that we'd not be able to give up on what had been so good she, at least, seemed to be quite good wt doing without sex. I think she'd been so traumatised by her husband's infidelity and then mine (although mine was a comppletely different issue and circumsance) she really needed to withdraw from sexual activity and to regain her "vanilla" life. That had been her stated intent and by and large she has achieved it. Over the last couple of months she has had a couple of flirtations and gropes (documented here) but that's been it. She and I spent one night together in the autumn and have had a couple of screws which have been useful in getting rid of tensions but that's been the extent of it between she and I. I still anticipate that she won't be able to keep her libido down for long, but that's up to her now. The problem is that she doesn't have the same access to sexually active people - through me and work - these days, and she's not about do screw one of her social group. Although she was the target of someone's randy husband the other week ... but that's another story</p> <p>However, I have - happily - managed to see Curvee a couple of times and that has been really good. We even managed to have a night away together, and that was great. We haven't guite got our orgasms together yet, but hopefully with a bit of practice we will get there. Getting the practice is the problem as I am having to really concentrate on my work and she is 50 miles away. And as a married man its not too easy to get a night away!</p> <p>Which brings me on to sex at a distance. Over the years I have had phone sex with most of my lovers, one way or another. Many months ago, as a result of a meeting in blogland I had e-sex with a lovely woman. Initially it was through Skype messaging which was really quite weird, typing in details of what you were doing, how you were feeling etc, until neither of us was typing ... We then graduated to using verbal communication - once she was in her office and a couple of times she was at home, with husband sleeping in the next room!</p> <p>My biggest turn-on, as my longer established friends here will know, is a woman's pleasure. And while it is great to arouse one's lover with gentle caresses, its also pretty great to do so with whispered words over the phone. Keyboard based sex is a bit different, but it is still a turn on - do this, touch that, tell me how you feel, I'm doing this, that, this is what I want to do now. </p> <p>There is also someone else who I have a skype based relationship with and it has been great to hear her orgasmic cries coming over my speakers (would it be sufficient to say "to hear hear coming over my speakers?"). She turns me on by saying what she would like to see me do (yes, I have a webcam now) and it really appeals to the exhibitionist in me.</p> <p>I suppose one of the benefits of sex at a distance is that one can gain sexual relief and develop a degree of personal relationship without the nuisance of travel and without health risks. And if one has a webcam then one can be reasonably sure who one is having it with!</p> <p>But there's nothing quite so good as snuggling up with a loving partner having had a good shag, and then waking up later to find that they are already sucking on one's cock. I look forward to doing that again soon.</p> <p>Do you have any thoughts or experience of sex at a distance?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/02/11/sex_at_a_distance~1721591/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-02-01:/2007/02/01/slow_web~1662243/KandAmoist2007-02-01T14:19:24+01:002007-02-01T14:19:59+01:00 <p>Yesterday, Wed 31st, I noticed that web access seemed very slow. Was it just local, my system, national or international? And if it wasn't just me, then I wonder if any of it had anything to do with the launch of Microsoft Vista which is reputed to have a high web overhead.</p> <p>Anyone else have problems yesterday? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/02/01/slow_web~1662243/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-01-31:/2007/01/31/those_crazy_anarchic_germans~1657992/KandAmoist2007-01-31T18:33:00+01:002007-04-11T08:00:17+02:00 <p>I'm sure its a fallacy, a stereotypical accident of history, and this is a massive generalisation and we are all very wary of those, right? but there is a tendency to perceive Germans as, well, somewhat RIGID. Hidebound, inflexible, no sense of humour etc.</p> <p>Personally, all the Germans I know laugh a lot (they say they're laughing WITH me). I correspond with two Germans, one terms her blog "crazy" (yes, that's YOU, Antlady), and the other refers to a forum that she uses as "anarchic". It struck me as being a slighly strange co-incidence. Is it that Germans are aware of this stereotyping and like to think of themselves as anything but rigid, and thus the idea of having coffee at 10.12am instead of 10.15am becomes crazy anarchic? Or am I merely merely making something small a lot bigger than it should be (oh, was that me making a reference to my dick?) </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/01/31/those_crazy_anarchic_germans~1657992/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-01-17:/2007/01/17/time_to_get_rid_of_9p~1567193/KandAmoist2007-01-17T11:34:39+01:002007-01-17T11:34:39+01:00 <p>Why is it that some organisations charge us in a coinage that doesn't exist?</p> <p>It's all well and good if commercial organisations, conducting business between each other (selling thousands of barrels of oil, for instance) want to work to four decimal points, echoing international (commercial) currency exchange. But as a consumer, buying a litre of petrol, the .9p price is impossible to pay, it must always be rounded up. Even if I buy 5 litres, the smallest practical delivery, perhaps filling a petrol can, those .9p's become 4.5pence - and we don't even have a 0.5p coin now!</p> <p>Isn't it about time retailers came clean and stopped trying to hoodwink us. Maybe we should get one of those Downing Street online petitions under way. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/01/17/time_to_get_rid_of_9p~1567193/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-01-16:/2007/01/16/is_it_wrong_to_watch_saddam_s_hanging~1561522/KandAmoist2007-01-16T14:45:42+01:002007-04-11T08:00:54+02:00 <p>I've just had quite a heated discussion with Buxombird, about the rightness of things. Her view is that if she had the opportunity to watch Saddam's hanging she would do so, she'd want to do so, and she'd enjoy doing so, because of the vile crimes he perpetrated. As she said this, I could just see her, 200+ years ago, knitting and nodding as the heads fell into the guillotine's basket.</p> <p>I took the view that no matter how vile the crime, the only people who should be permitted to watch the execution other than official observers* are those who were directly affected - the families of the victims (should they wish), and that anyone else watching is doing so for entertainment or simply out of callous indifference, and whichever it is, to do so brings us down closer to the level of those who commit the crimes in the first place.</p> <p>Buxombird says I'm too forgiving and couldn't see that this isn't about forgiveness, its about humanity. Its about not falling to the same level as these monsters. A little bit like finding it hard to support those who'd like to "see" rapists castrated with rusty hacksaw blades. </p> <p>Or am I missing something here?</p> <p>*I wonder, how would world leaders feel (Mr Blair, Mr Bush, that's YOU)if they know they would have to witness, first hand, the cold-hearted executions of their vanquished enemies. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/01/16/is_it_wrong_to_watch_saddam_s_hanging~1561522/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-01-07:/2007/01/07/answering_my_own_question~1524045/KandAmoist2007-01-07T09:52:11+01:002007-04-11T08:01:44+02:00 <p>Some time ago I asked about the nature of heartache at the loss of a loved one, the physical pain that is felt at death, or at the (let's say sudden) end of a love affair. I was mildy surprised that not many people identified with it, and I get the impression that while sadness and a feeling of loss are common, real physical pain - a nagging ache deep in the chest - is not.</p> <p>As someone who tends to be prey to anxiety (largely conquered these days), I recognise a similarity between the symptoms of anxiety and love-loss. I have, as long-time readers here will know, traced back some of my character traits to a fear of desertion, gained in my infancy. It seems to me that many of these things go together: the infant's love of (= dependence upon) mother; the fear of losing mother / the acute fear and anxiety planted when loss does occur in infancy - tying in to the loss of a lover.</p> <p>My guess is that Nerve Growth Factor (see previous post) can be identified as playing an active part in the development of babies and infants, and also probably mirrored in their mothers at the same time (let's call it the love chemical). It's probably a key chemical ingredient in the bonding process. I'd also suggest that for some people, perhaps those suffering a degree of loss of mother love at an early age, NGF production within the body becomes somehow damaged, it is probably too easily switched on and perhaps reaches higher dosages then in other people. And the down side is that when it is switched off, or something threatens to switch it off, there is a corresponding chemical reaction within the body ... withdrawal symptoms, if you like, producing anxiety and pain.</p> <p>Does this make sense? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/01/07/answering_my_own_question~1524045/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:thinvolume.blog.co.uk,2007-01-06:/2007/01/06/pick_up_artists_aamp_mad_love~1523174/KandAmoist2007-01-06T23:12:43+01:002007-04-11T08:02:50+02:00 <p>I'm clearing out my desk at the moment and come across a couple of items in The Week, from over a year ago (yup, its a deep pile of paper!) I don't know if I wrote about them at the time, but I thought it interesting:</p> <p>1. The artistic temperament seems to be sexually alluring - creative people have, on average, twice as many sexual partners as ordinary mortals. Its not down to fame and fortune, most of those interviewed were unknown.</p> <p>2. Mad passionate love is an identifiable chemical condition lasting about a year. Those in all stages of relationships were tested and those in the first 12 months, who found that they were spending at least 4 hours a day thinking of each other, had four times more of a chemical called Nerve Growth Factor, and the people who reported themselves most in love, the most intense feelings for a large part of the day, had most NGF. Tested a year later when their passion had colled, the NGF was at normal levels </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://thinvolume.blog.co.uk/2007/01/06/pick_up_artists_aamp_mad_love~1523174/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>